Surviving Despite the Storm

“Sometimes we have to weather storms to see the flowers at the end.”

At Shine His Light, I am honored to hear the stories of faith and courage from people who have walked through unimaginable hardship and still choose to pursue healing.

The following reflection comes from a man who has lived with complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) for most of his life. In his own words, he shares what it has been like to live with Complex PTSD, how trauma therapy helped him reclaim hope, and why access to deeply present and loving care matters. I'm honored to share his voice with you today.

Here is Fred’s story.

What is it like for someone experiencing complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)?

Dealing with CPTSD all my life has made my life very difficult, especially when coupled with a TBI I received at birth from my doctor. Having been brutalized and suffering several types of abuse really takes its toll on the mental welfare of a child, and it results in a very hard adult life having been subjected to physical, emotional, sexual abuses with intentional starvation and neglect thrown in the mix.

What has been your experience with trauma therapy? Has it helped?

I began my trauma therapy at 37, 2 years after I discovered I have 98% PTSD and then found out I actually had CPTSD at 37. Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) played a huge role in my early healing from childhood traumas and helped me deal with homicidal rage I was barely keeping at bay. My healing was interrupted by a terrible tragedy and I had to re-establish my trauma counseling with Kaleigh while she was still with Bayless. Having her help me through is what saved my life. I felt suicidal daily and she gave me something better to live for, despite the apathetic people around me.

What value has having a faith-based provider offered for you?

Having a faith based provider has helped me in that their heart is geared more towards hope and strength through faith, rather than shoving pills down my throat like other people have done. Having prayer with the person you are going through therapy with really is encouraging for me.

Have you or someone you know been impacted by not being able to access trauma therapy due to cost or limited insurance coverage?

No, there's always someone who wants to take your money [e.g. community-mental health clinics]. Whether the person is good at it or not is another story. Some genuinely care while others just want a paycheck. In faith based, you get more people who are doing it for a cause rather than a paycheck.

What happens when people can't access trauma therapy?

People who can't access trauma therapy can eventually become totally overwhelmed and have burnouts, and breakdowns which can lead to them being unable to work or function at all, assuming they were functioning well in the first place.

What would you tell someone considering supporting Shine His Light in ensuring people have access to trauma therapy?

Shine His Light is a worthy cause that is helping people like me find hope and strength to keep going despite the storms of life. This is a worthy and surely neglected cause within the faith community, especially in Arizona where their idea of helping people is locking them in a room, forcing them to watch movies all day while other patients are being violent and screaming/yelling half the time. Many places do this and their patients keep returning because they don't actually help people. Shine His Light however is much more help than a million of these other places.

How would you encourage someone that isn't sure they want to live anymore? How can they find hope?

Find something that brings you joy. Pray when things are hard. Sometimes we have to weather storms to see the flowers at the end. Learn from your trauma counselor, for they will teach you methods to help you survive the days ahead. Some days will still be hard, but you always have someone working with you if you believe.

Anything else you'd like our readers to know?

Life can be really rough. I have been through much, including a terrible town fire, 73 deaths in the past 8 years, covid of course, betrayal of so called friends, finding out I am allergic to almost everything that I have been eating all my life, shown absolute apathy, with the exception of a very few people, since moving to Arizona and just a plethora of other struggles like almost losing my mother and finding out I have a brain lesion and tumor. I don't drink, or use drugs so this is all survival through faith and the help of my trauma counselor. I really hope anyone who struggles finds peace and healing through Shine His Light. You are worth it!

Fred’s personal reflection on living with Complex PTSD, the long road toward healing, and how trauma therapy and faith can help someone rediscover hope even after years of hardship continues to inspire me. 

I am glad to share it with you.

In echoing of Fred's words, remember friends: 

Defend the fallen. 

Restore the broken. 

And love always.