Lessons from the Frontlines: What a Child in a Domestic Violence Shelter Taught Me About His Shoes
Lessons from the Frontlines: What a Child in a Domestic Violence Shelter Taught Me About His Shoes
I didn’t realize it back then, but I’ve been in love with group therapy work from the start. Some of the first groups I co-facilitated with recreational therapy groups in an Alzheimer’s unit. Men and women, some long-forgotten, circling up to play, sing, and reminiscence as best they could.
But the first group I started on my own was a youth group at a Phoenix domestic violence shelter.
When I first began my service there I co-led the adult women’s domestic violence group. Their children shuffled off while the women got down to the business of healing. But I wondered: what about these youth?
They don’t have a home. They have witnessed terrific violence. What about the small eyes, and small ears that see and hear it all?
So I went to my supervisors. I told them I wanted to start a youth group. I planned and planned and planned. I created flyers and posted them in the shelter. The next Monday night was our first group.
I was nervous.
Not because of leading the group. But because I wasn’t sure if any would show up at all!
I was astounded.
On day one TWENTY FIVE youth filled the room!
We circled up. Safe space to be seen was offered.
And one by one they went around sharing their hearts.
Something changed in me forever when one little boy looked down. He looked at his shoes. He said “it’s really hard when everyone makes fun of my shoes.” Heads nodded. Little kids and teen boys showed understanding. He was seen.
Then I noticed. He breathed deep. He relaxed. He finally knew he wasn’t alone.
I am so thankful for that boy showing me why group healing isn’t an addition to the healing process – it’s a key ingredient.
Since then I’ve created, facilitated, and led group in every single setting of the mental health system. In window-less psych-ward-esque dayrooms. Virtual therapy groups during COVID. And these days frequently around a round-pen with horses. Here’s what I learned:
- In every setting, the key ingredient is one other.
- God created us for connection — to walk with one another, support one another, and remind each other that even in the hardest seasons, we are not alone.
- Healing begins with something as simple as a circle of chairs, a safe space, and the courage to say out loud what has been hurting inside.
At Shine His Light I made certain groups were not forgotten. Local schools, groups of veterans, addiction treatment centers – all deserve the chance to heal, together, no matter the cost.
The scholarship fund we offer to low-income Arizona residents makes group healing possible. Supporting this scholarship fund ensures it is accessible to all.
Support Shine His Light today.
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